Whisper #333

Effective communication: Do not seek the low hanging fruit by tailoring your message to the interest of the irrationally vocal and reactive as you try to avoid becoming a target. Rather aim for what is reasonable in those towards which the irrationally vocal and reactive aim their efforts, i.e., those whom they attempt to stifle.

Reason: One does not grow irrationally vocal and reactive towards a perspective unless there is something reasonable and-or legitimate about it, albeit contrary to one’s interest and-or one’s own perspective. One strives to undermine it, to choke it of the oxygen that is the light of day, i.e., publicity, legitimacy, normality and so on.

Value: You will gain more from what is rational, but oppressed and yearning to come out, than you will from the irrational oppressor operating on blind self-interest.

Whisper #332

A: Tell me what a young person like me should know about intimacy?

B: There are moments in the process of growing intimate with someone — be it a friend, romantic partner or other — where you will face a dilemma and so make a choice. You cannot avoid this dilemma, because it expresses the condition as a result of which we are different people and is tthe basis upon which are attracted to one another, in the first place. These moments are the most enriching and you would do well to seize upon them.

There are moments in intimacy where differences become clear, creases in your viewpoints will appear and blockages in the flow of your interaction will emerge. These moments will force upon you a choice: to iron out the creases or clear out the blockages, or to patch over them; deny them; pretend as though they are not there; ignore them; lower (or minimise) their significance and so on.

The best way I can prepare you for the dilemma in such moments is by putting to you two questions, which you will have to ask:

  1. Do I say what I feel and think, and so appear as though I am judging them?
  2. Do I hold back what I truly think and feel, to spare them (including myself) the appearance of sanctimony and the moral high ground, spare them hurt, avoid the risk of disagreement and potential enmity if we cannot resolve our differences or whatever reason I may have (or create) for holding back, moment by moment?

Ask yourself, also this: Who am I to this person as I choose either? 

How you answer these questions will determine the limits of the intimacy you cultivate with someone, and sometimes also the health (or toxicity) of your relationship.

On Partner Dancing

When we stand before a flag which to us means so much, we do not salute the pole, which keeps the flag from falling or flying away.

The pole holds it in place, ensures its security and gives it the freedom to move with the winds, to be shaped by them and so display its surrender to the currents of life in its complete beauty.

Exactly so in partner dancing: the follower is she towards whom our attention gravitates and whose ultimate surrender and fluidity in bodily form is the reason for dance in the first place. She carries the aesthetic value of the art-form as from the viewer’s perspective.

This responsibility to surrender to the rhythm of the song in a dance can be immensely daunting or uncontrollably exhilarating — often, it is both at the same time! Some crumble into mush before such a responsibility, others stiffen up into a block and the rest — well . . .

Whisper #331

A: Who is the worst partner in life?

B: The one who is driven to compare themselves to you, either to bring you down or raise you up to their level — out of love, without a shadow of a doubt! There is love in what they do; they commit to making love happen, making it work.

A: And what about the best?

B: The one who is driven to raise you by all their means, to the edges of their limits and in so doing realise they had limits never they imagined.

A: Is there nothing in-between? They both sound really intense.

B: Yes — you are between them.

A: I do not follow.

B: Give it time; explore, first. You will see what I mean.

A: Why won’t you just tell me?

B: And rob you of the fun of finding out on your own? Never!

Whisper #330

A: Tell me, how can I digest failure?

B: On the following two conditions:

  1. As a lesson learned; something you undergo as you move onward and upward.
    • As those long hours of revision, reading, practising, perfecting, testing and performing inherent to becoming a master of anything.
    • As the sacrifice of a lifetime to behold that perfect moment.
    • As birth and growth pangs; those cuts, bruises and emotional kinks inherent to becoming an adult.
  2. As the only way God (life, love, nature, your (higher) self — whatever you worship) could enter you in that moment; as its having tried in subtler ways, but failed.
    • As a benevolent hand landing on a haughty soul.
    • As that gentle light falling on stubbornly insensitive eyes.
    • As the firm hand needed to make something soft enough to reshape.

A: They sound mutually exclusive.

B: Not everything is as it sounds, nor is it what it seems. Listen and look closer, deeper than the comfortable surface of words and that bitter narcissistic dame who rules over them, whom we call ‘reason’.

The Gift of Light

I live for your gift of light,
For those whispers in the wind,
You gave me before my time.
But, youth is narrow-minded,
Deaf, dumb and blind.
Carried away by your grace,
Drunk in your life-wine,
Before I knew what to do,
I squandered and spent,
Smote you with delicious waste,
With pointless feelings, empty words,
Meaningless gestures, false promises.
Ashamed, I bowed my head and moved on.

I walked the tight rope of time,
Dragging my heavy bag of regrets,
My wretched soul and broken reason,
Hoping not to keel over into oblivion.
Then, age caught up with me,
Accompanied by your divine light.
I squandered you a little less,
Spent you economically,
Used you up slowly.
My mind, opened; my ears, perked;
My voice, emerged; my eyes, receptive.
But, squandered, spent and used,
You did not turn to darkness,
You shone for this wasteful fool,
Unworthy of your divine grace, your love-light.

Now, you’re still and always here,
I am not, and I am glad.
For my mind is wide for you,
My ears, attentive to your lips,
My voice, resounding your name,
My eyes, soaking you up.
For so I wish to live,
In bitter-sweet longing for your light,
I am the stray dog on your doorstep,
Who brings you news of your glory.
For my soul is clean;
My regrets, lessons;
My reason, your weapon.
For I claim you not,
Own and possess you not,
I live off your light,
Your light lives in me,
Together we move the world.

Who is responsible for this mystery — life?
Who is it that lets us use them up?
Who allows us fools to make a fool of them,
To toss them about and turn them to waste?
Then, as we come back, bloodied and bruised,
They open up and receive us wider than before,
The fool lets fools use them up some more.
Is it you — God?
Is it you — love?
Is it you — nature?
Is it you —
We are unworthy of you.
Your gift of light,
I am gladly your slave,
With the clearest conscience.