Make no mistake about it, there is a ‘war’ of the sexes and it is our natural state. Only this war is more like an infinite dance, than a bloody battle to the death until someone finally emerges as victorious. See this as the war of life itself.
Both sexes strive to shape their counterpart to reflect their own image.
One needs its counterpart to be angular, strong, focused, immovable, deep and clear, but only because of the pleasure it eventually acquires from making it become soft, receptive, relaxed, open, joyous and rich.
So, this sex will say that it likes soft, receptive, relaxed etc. and it is not lying, even though it is attracted to and driven by its exact opposite!
Don’t let what she says she likes in a man confuse you when you see whom she is attracted to: the two are not as unrelated as they seem. What she says she likes represents the aim of her actions, the conclusion and end-point of her actions—sometimes even her frustrations. What she leaves out is that she will only be driven to act by the exact opposite of what she aims for. She too revels in the challenge of shaping men in her own image, but to experience the urge to shape, in the first place, there must be something to shape—its opposite.
The other sex is a mirror image of the above. It needs its counterpart to be soft, sensitive, receptive, purposeless, frivolous, noisy, full of movement and life, rich to the point of confusion and constantly there and not there at the same time, but only for the pleasure it eventually acquires from making it harder, less sensitive, more focused, more graceful, more purposeful, quieter and, yes, finally poorer and thinner as a result.
So, this sex will say it likes something focused, graceful, purposeful, quieter etc. and it is not lying, either, even though it is attracted to and driven by its exact opposite!
Don’t let what he says he likes in a woman confuse you when you see whom he is attracted to: the two are not as unrelated as they seem. What he says he likes represents the aim of his actions, but he is only driven to act by the exact opposite of what he aims for. He revels in the challenge of shaping a woman in his own image, but to feel the urge to shape, in the first place, there must be something to shape—its opposite.
It has always been like this among the sexes. We’ve just learned to cover it up, glisten it, gild it, moralize it, make it more refined and appealing, make it less chaotic, more orderly, make it much harder to notice and now, so far into human history, we refuse to accept it.